Journal #3: Hostage Situation

If I was a hostage in a desperate situation I would try to discover an escape plan.  I would analyze every aspect of my situation and find a way to escape because I am a ninja.  I would use my special ninja skills to get out of there alive.  First, my kidnappers would take me because of my divine beauty.  My exact kidnapper would be Katie Hayes because she has always been jealous of my awesome personality and stunning good looks.  She would hire Audrey to distract me and then her friend Carl would tackle me and drag me into Katie's big suburban.   I would wake up in Katie's car, and then I would scream and shout until they pulled over and knocked me out.  Then I would wake up in a strange building full of kitten photos and smelly animals.  This was Katie's lair!  I ripped up some kitten photo's and Katie slapped me.  I was hysterical!! But I used my ninja skills to knock my evil competitor out of her senses.  Carl was trying to hunt me down after I chewed through the strong ropes that were binding my arms together.  Carl would turn every corner looking for me, but I was hiding on the ceiling because I can float sometimes if I focus a lot.  However, I sneezed and Carl found me but I floated away.  I then ran away but I shaved Katie's head for revenge before I left.  This was a very funny thing to do because Katie looks like Danny now.  I escaped with minor scrapes and bruises.  I forgave Katie though, because she thought she looked like Natalie Portman from V for Vendetta, but she did not at all!  I felt bad because she was so delusional, so I did not punish her more.  The haircut was bad enough Katie and I became friends after a while though, because Carl thought we should rekindle the friendship.  Her hair grew back and now she looks more like Slash, but we are best friends now.